Shattered
by Kari-chan-06
Summary: Twilight left them shattered. When Ari is killed 6 months later, the team learns surprising news, but will those news come soon enough to keep one of them from breaking?
1. 7 West

Shattered

Disclaimer: I don´t own any characters or anything

Summary: Twilight left them shattered. When Ari is killed 6 months later, the team learns surprising news, but will those news come soon enough to keep one of them from breaking?

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1- 7 West

Anthony Dinozzo walked down a hallway until he stood in front of a wooden door. He sighed as he looked at the sign next to it. Every door had such a sign, giving away the name of the person who was living inside those walls. It still hurt him to see that name here, but he felt that he owned him as much as a visit every week. 7 West was not a very pleasant place. It was the closed psychatric ward of Bethesda Naval Hospital, a place where broken souls were gathered. Tony still hated coming here, but he had done so every Wednesday for the last six months after getting off from work.

A nurse unlocked the door for him and he knocked, but there was no answer. He walked inside and looked around. The room was plain, white walls, grey floor, bars in front of the window, no curtains. He felt a chill run down his back when he saw him sitting at the window again. Every time Tony came, he was sitting there. Doctors called it PSD -posttraumatic stress disorder, but nobody knew if it was going to go away any time soon. It seemed like he had resigned from life. He would eat, sleep, dress himself when someone put out fresh clothes for him, but besides that, he just stared out of the window. He had not spoken a single word ever since Kate had died in his arms on that rooftop. Once a month, Tony and Ducky took him out for a few hours, but he didn´t seem to realize it.

"Hi, Boss." Tony finally said as he put his hand on the older man´s shoulder. "I heard they got you some of Starbuck´s homeblend last week and you didn´t touch it." He added and then went on to tell him about the recent events at NCIS. Morrow had put him in charge ever since Gibbs had been admitted to 7 West, but Tony still refused to call it anything but temporary. He still hoped for some miracle that would give them the old Gibbs back, the one with two b in his name.

"Abby will come to see you tomorrow. Just don´t jump on her for not coming last week -she caught the flu and was out for four days in a row. Oh, and McGee passed shooting evaluation with perfect marks again -he really turned out great." Tony told him and looked for any sign of reaction, but those blue eyes still stared out of the window. He wasn´t even sure if Gibbs sensed his presence at all. Doctors still didn´t know if he was interacting with the world around him at all or if he was just responding to the basic instincts, like hunger and sleep. He seemed withdrawn and passive, something everyone had thought could never happen to him, but it had.

After half an hour, the door was opened again and Tony got up from the windowsill. "I´ve got to go now. See you next week." He told Gibbs and walked out. Everytime he came here, he hoped for some sign of improvement, but there was none. Ducky kept checking on him as well, but he too didn´t see any change. Kate´s spot on the team had been taken by a young woman who actually worked for the mossad. Her name was Ziva David and even Tony had to admit that she was good at her job. The team just wasn´t the same anymore though.

McGee had learned a lot over the last half year, mostly because he was forced to do more work now. He did good, eventhough Tony would still call him Probie. That nickname just kinda stuck on him for the time being. It was a reminder of those times everything had been all right, a reminder of life before that fatal day on the rooftop. Abby had been more subdued as well, mainly noticable because she hardly ever listened to any music in her lab anymore. Only Ducky seemed to be the same man as before those events. He still talked to the bodies that came to the morgue, he still had tons of stories to tell on every occasion.

Tony got into his car and sighed. As he looked out of the window, he watched the rain falling onto the ground. "Screw you, Ari. If I ever get my hands on you, I´m going to kill you as slowly as possible. You took my partner from me, the only girl who would toss the ball back instead of taking it. You broke my boss by killing her and you shattered the best team I´ve ever seen." He growled and then started the car. These words had become some kind of a mantra for him by now. He repeated them almost daily when he was forced to watch how their lives had changed.


	2. News

Shattered

Disclaimer: I don´t own any characters or anything

Summary: Twilight left them shattered. When Ari is killed 6 months later, the team learns surprising news, but will those news come soon enough to keep one of them from breaking?

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2- News

The following Sunday, Tony was sitting on his couch, watching a football game on TV when his cell phone started ringing. He looked at the caller ID and frowned. "Dinozzo." He answered it and wondered why Director Morrow would call him on his free weekend. It was barely noon and he hoped that it was really important. After all, free weekends were rare since they were only three field agents right now.

The man on the other end of the line sounded rather calm, but somehow there was something in his voice that didn´t belong there. Tony had worked more closely with Morrow for the last months. That was something the job as teamleader brought along. "Agent Dinozzo, I´m sorry to disturb you on your free weekend, but I need you to come to the office immediately. There are news concerning Haswari." The director said and it was all that was necessary.

Half an hour later, Tony sprinted into the office and took three stairs at once as he made his way up to the level where the offices lay. He had almost caused an accident when he hit a red light, but the tone in Morrow´s voice had made him curious enough to throw all caution over board. He knocked at the first door and heard the low voice of Morrow from the inside. "Enter."

Tom Morrow had been on this job for a long time, but every time he thought that he had seen everything, something unexpected would come up, confronting him with a completely new situation. He walked around his desk and sat down when Dinozzo came in. "You asked to see me, Mr. Director?" The younger man asked and remained at the door.

"Yes, please have a seat." Tom said and sighed inwardly. When he had gotten a call from the FBI three hours ago, his world order had yet again been thrown into chaos. He watched how Dinozzo sat down in front of the desk. "I received a call from the FBI a few hours ago. Ari Haswari has been shot last night when a team of FBI and CIA cornered him in Chicago. He was about to leave the country, but they were able to stop him. It has been confirmed that it was the right person as well -DNA doesn´t lie." Morrow said and watched a sparkle in Tony´s eyes.

"That´s good news, but why did I have to come here immediately?" This didn´t make any sense -it would have been sufficient to send a message about this around. Tony suspected that there was more to learn about the most recent events. Something in Morrow´s face told him that he was in for some surprises and he wasn´t sure if all of them were good.

"As you know, several people were placed on the witness protection program because of Haswari. Since he´s dead, those people will return to their normal lives now. Miss David will return to Israel tomorrow morning, she has already been notified and will clear out her desk tonight." Morrow went on and watched the expression of surprise on the younger agent´s face. Everyone who worked at NCIS or one of the other agencies knew very well what WITSEC was. They had to work with safe houses and altered identities a lot.

"With all due respect, Sir, but we can hardly do our job with only three field agents. I don´t think we will be able to cope with only two of us." Tony said and noted a slight smile on the face of the older man now. He was puzzled and tried to guess where this was leading. Ziva David had had a hard time on the team at first, being forced into the spot of someone who had died in the line of duty. She had tried to do her job good and earned some recognition for it soon.

"I´m aware of the implications this will have, Anthony. I´m aware that we made mistakes in the past, one of them being the plan to set up Haswari on that rooftop." Morrow watched the look in Tony´s eyes. He knew how much these events had changed everyone´s life and yet he knew that it had been necessary at those times.

"Sir, I lost my partner and my boss that day. Calling it a mistake won´t make that any better." Tony felt his pulse beating stronger as a wave of anger rose inside him. A mistake! All Morrow could think of was calling her death a mistake. He was close to jump up and leave, but the look in the director´s eyes somehow kept him in his seat.

Morrow reached for a piece of paper and wrote down something that looked like an address. "I need you to go to this address after we are done here. The name is Sasha Turner. Tell her that Shadowrun is over and that you´re with NCIS. She will explain everything to you. That will be all for now, Agent Dinozzo." The director said and leaned back in his chair. He wasn´t sure how he should feel about sending Dinozzo there, but yet he hoped that he would understand.

Tony looked at the address and walked out to his car. This talk with Morrow had been the strangest thing that had happened to him for a long time. 40 minutes later he parked his car in front of a small house. The neighborhood lay just outside the city boundaries of Norfolk. It seemed to be a calm area and some children were playing in the street. Checking the sign next to the door, he rang the bell and waited. He wasn´t sure what to make of this whole thing -it was Sunday after all and maybe this Mrs. Turner had gone to church. Soft steps approached the door and he heard a voice a moment later. "Who´s there?"

For a short moment, that voice seemed very familiar to him, but he put that thought off and remembered what Morrow had told him. "Anthony Dinozzo, NCIS. I´m supposed to tell you that shadowrun is over, ma´am." He finally said and heard the deadbolt sliding back.


	3. WITSEC

Shattered

Disclaimer: I don´t own any characters or anything

Summary: Twilight left them shattered. When Ari is killed 6 months later, the team learns surprising news, but will those news come soon enough to keep one of them from breaking?

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3- WITSEC

A few seconds later the door was opened and Tony almost fell backwards off the porch. At first it was just a shadow at the door, but when she stepped forward a bit, he didn´t believe his eyes. Her hair was up in a ponytail, her brown eyes glistened with tears. He found himself completely lost for words and simply stared at the woman he had seen die six months ago. "Are you going to just stare at me, Dinozzo?" Kate finally asked and tears started to roll down her face. She had waited for this moment for what seemed like forever. She watched how the color slowly returned to his face and tried to smile, but she wasn´t sure what to think right now.

Tony regained his composture and closed the space between them. "But...but you...I saw you die...how..." He stuttered and finally dared to pull her into an embrace. The smell of her hair and the feeling of her body against his seemed so unreal. He felt her pull back and let go again. "You´re really here." He stated and pulled a strand of hair from her face. He was still too confused to realize what these news meant for the team.

"Come on in and I´ll try to explain it to you...Tony, is Ari really dead?" She asked hesitantly and lead him into the livingroom. Her furniture had been brought here right after everyone had been convinced that she had died. Autopsy had been performed by a CIA doctor, making sure that nobody from NCIS was present. They had simply taken all data from her file and shot some photographs that had been altered on a computer to make them look real.

Tony sat down on the couch and brushed his hand through his hair. "He´s dead all right. Morrow called me in today to tell me. Now I know what he meant with implications." He said and smiled a bit. "I missed you, Kate. Don´t get me wrong, okay? I mean, I really loved you as a friend and losing you was the worst thing that ever happened to me." It was odd to admit this, but much to his surprise she smiled.

"I know. When they came up to me and told me about the plan, they said it was a matter of days or weeks -not months. That´s why I agreed. They didn´t tell you then?" Kate asked and got up to find something to drink for them. She got two cans of soda from the fridge and handed one to Tony.

"Not a word. I mean, even Ducky thought you were dead -and he´s not easy to be fooled. There was a funeral and everything. We got that replacement and tried to go on, but it wasn´t the same..." His voice trailed off when he remembered what this had done to Gibbs, but he didn´t feel like telling her about him right away. The two of them had always seemed close, even if that was unusual. Tony had tried to get her around for a date, but he had learned soon enough that her friendship was worth more than a one-night-stand or something like that.

"Don´t ask me how they did the thing with the blood -I have no clue. I could play dead rather well because I know yoga, that´s probably why they chose me as bait. I was moved here and got a new identity. I was told not to contact anyone since it might endanger not only me, but you guys as well...I missed all of you so much, Tony. How did they cope?" She asked and took a sip from her soda, running her hand through her hair.

Tony sighed and tried to find the right words. "Abby had a nervous breakdown when we told her. She never listens to any music in her lab anymore, I think she really misses you a lot -she keeps talking about your girl night´s out. McGee turned out to be a great agent -he had to take over most of your tasks ever since all that happened. He´s still really subdued though. I´m not sure about Ducky, he seems to be the same as always, but maybe he´s just good hiding it." He told her and hoped that she would leave it there for the moment, but when he looked into her eyes, he knew she wouldn´t.

"What about Gibbs?" She immediately asked and tried to read his eyes. What she saw there caused a chill to run down her back. She had never seen so much pain in his eyes before. A bunch of butterflies started to roam around her stomach, not because she was flattered, but because she could sense that something wasn´t right. "He´s okay, isn´t he?"

Tony´s voice was different somehow when he finally started to speak. He had to fight back the emotions that threatened to dwell up again. "When you were down, Gibbs was at your side immediately. You died in his arms, at least that´s what all of us thought. When the EMTs came, we had to drag him away from you. If Ducky hadn´t been there, we wouldn´t have managed." He said and saw new tears forming in her eyes. "He hasn´t spoken a word ever since and they admitted him to 7 West. Ducky doesn´t know if he´ll come out of that shock ever. They say its a posttraumatic stress disorder, but it almost seems like he died with you that day."

Kate felt new tears streaming down her face and threw herself against Tony´s chest. She felt her heart aching at the thought of Gibbs hurting so much because of her. "I didn´t want to hurt anyone..." She whispered after a moment and felt him stroking over her head. After a while she straightened again. "They will move my stuff back to my apartment tonight. Since it´s over, I´m supposed to go back to my old life, but I´m not sure if that life is still there. Life after WITSEC is difficult -that´s what they told me and I guess that´s true."

Tony got up and looked at her. "We´ll see. You can stay at my place tonight and we´ll get your badge and gun back tomorrow. We can have some Chinese tonight -I´m paying." He offered and held out his hand to her. Normally, she would have fired some remark at him for that, but today it was different. It was not like he was trying to get her on a date or something. For once, Tony was just being nice. With a little smile, Kate accepted his hand and they left the safe house that had been her home for so many months.


	4. Surprising Guests

Shattered

Disclaimer: I don´t own any characters or anything

Summary: Twilight left them shattered. When Ari is killed 6 months later, the team learns surprising news, but will those news come soon enough to keep one of them from breaking?

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4- Surprising guests

Kate packed some clothes for the night and they got into the car. She was silent most of the drive and just looked out of the window. "I haven´t been anywhere near Washington for the last months. The chance of running into someone I know was too big." She finally said as he parked in front of a chinese restaurant. "Tony, can we go to Abby´s place?"

He looked at her and smiled. Her eyes were sparkling and full of hope. "Can´t wait to see her, huh? Yeah, sure. You get the food and I call her up to see if she´s home." He said and pulled out his phone. When Kate had disappeared into the restaurant, he hit 3 on his speed dial and waited for a reply.

"Hey, Tony." It didn´t take her long to find the phone tonight, so Tony figured that she had either been reading or watching TV. If she had been to a party or listening to music, it would have taken her longer.

"Hi, Abbs. Uhm, you home tonight? I was thinking about coming over with some Chinese food." He said and grinned. She would suspect that something was up immediately. Abby knew him rather well by now and dropping by with some food on a Sunday night was not like him at all.

Her voice gave that surprise clearly away. "Wow, did you catch my flu or something? I´m home all right, but Tim is here too. We were watching some movie. Just come over and we´ll have a fun night." She said and hung up again.

Tony hurried after Kate, who was still waiting in line to place her order. "Probie is at Abby´s place as well, so we ought to get something for him too. You okay seeing both of them tonight? I could call McGee out while you go and see Abby." He offered, but she shook her head.

"It´s fine. It´s just Ducky tomorrow then -well, and Gibbs." She said and they waited for their food to be ready. 10 minutes later, Kate felt her hands trembling as they walked up to Abby´s apartment. "Maybe you go ahead and take the food." She said, feeling a bit scared all of the sudden and Tony placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Don´t worry, Kate. I´m sure they´ll be thrilled to see you. Abby talks a lot about you still and you know how McGee is. Just stand around the corner and let me do the talking first. I don´t want those fried noodles to end up on the ground." He told her and rang the doorbell while Kate stood out of sight. It was kinda dark and only her silhouette was visible, making her look like a shadow.

The door was opened and Abby stuck her head out. "Hey, Tony! Wow, you made it in less than 20 minutes." She said and sounded rather cheerful. He handed her the bags with food and she put them into the hallway, waiting for him to come in. "Come on in, we won´t bite. Would be a pity to let the duck get cold."

"I got somebody else to come, I hope you don´t mind." He finally said and felt his heartbeat quickening. He knew how close both women had been from the moment they started to work together. This probably wasn´t the best way to tell both that Kate hadn´t died, but he guessed that both would survive that shock.

"Oh Tony, what poor girl did you bring this time? I thought the time when Alison ran out after seeing my bed had taught you a lesson." She said and stuck her head around the corner. Abby frowned a bit when she saw a lone figure standing in the darkness. Something about the shadow made goosebumps errupt all over her body. It took her a moment until her eyes adjusted a bit to the darkness.

Kate felt tears in her eyes again, choking her so much she could hardly speak. "Abby..." It was barely a whisper and she wasn´t sure if her friend had heard it at all. She took a step towards the door and therefore into the light. "Abby." She repeated, her voice becoming a bit more steady as she saw the incredulous look on the goth´s face.

Abby felt her hands shaking all of the sudden. She blinked twice, trying to tell herself that this was just a trick of her mind, but part of her had already realized that it wasn´t. "But...Kate?" She tried softly and felt tears streaming down her face as she recognized her friend. "Kate! You´re here? I mean, but how, when..." Her voice trailed off and she pulled her into a hug.

Kate wiped the tears from her eyes and returned the hug. "I didn´t mean to make it so hard for you guys. I didn´t know, Abby." She whispered and found herself face to face with Abby again.

"I don´t even care what happened, you´re here, you´re really here." Abby said and bounced back into the apartment. "Tim! You got to see who came around for dinner." She called into the livingroom and jumped onto the couch, landing half on McGee, who was still watching the news.

"I know that Tony´s coming, Abbs." A voice replied, sounding a bit annoyed. "Hey, Tony." He called out towards the hallway without actually looking up from the TV. He hadn´t noticed Kate coming in.

Kate winked at Abby and jumped over the back of the couch, landing next to McGee a second later. "I heard Tony is even worse than Gibbs in command, so I figured you need some help there." She said and grinned when his jaw dropped through the floor.

"Wha...wha...wha..." McGee couldn´t get a word out when he found himself only inches from Kate. He had seen her dead body in morgue, he had been at the funeral and now she was sitting next to him with one of her beautiful smiles on her face.

Tony brought their food and some cuttlery in and sat down on a free spot of the couch. "Gee, probie. That makes you look stupid, you know that?" He said and laughed heartly. It felt like the weight of the whole world had been lifted off them at once.


	5. Back at NCIS

Shattered

Disclaimer: I don´t own any characters or anything

Summary: Twilight left them shattered. When Ari is killed 6 months later, the team learns surprising news, but will those news come soon enough to keep one of them from breaking?

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5- Back at NCIS

The following morning, Kate had an appointment with Director Morrow very early. Tony came along and decided to get some paperwork done while she was up in the office. It was not quite 8 am when she came out again, her gun back in the holster and her badge on her belt again. "Everything okay, Kate?" He asked and she nodded, looking a bit uncertain, but much more confident than the day before.

"Seems like it. There will be a debriefing for everyone involved on Wednesday. He said I should go and tell everyone the short version for now. I need to get my desk sorted out and tell Ducky." Kate said and walked back to her desk. Her hand brushed over the gun and she smiled a bit. She had missed her old life a lot, but even now it seemed unreal to her. At least unreal the way it was right now.

McGee came in a few minutes later and smiled at both of them. "Morning, Tony. Morning, Kate." He said and smiled. Having her back felt really good, eventhough it was more than just a bit surprising. "Are you going to tell Ducky?" He asked and watched Kate picking up her phone.

"Sure am. I have to ask him about Gibbs. I didn´t think he would take it so hard and the sooner we get it sorted out the better." Kate replied and dialed the number of the morgue. Deep inside she felt awful about the picture of her boss being held in 7 West. She had been to that place before during investigation and it hadn´t been a place to spend more than just a few hours.

"Mallard." A voice answered the call and she felt her heart beating like mad. He sounded just like always and somehow the picture of the old man with his strange hat pacing the morgue sprung to her mind.

"Hi, Ducky. Could you come up here for a moment?" She just asked and smiled when she heard the phone drop onto the floor. Steps echoed and she heard a door opening. "Okay, I guess he´s coming." She put the phone back down and looked at the elevator, but it didn´t move. Instead, the door to the staircase was thrown open and Ducky came rushing in. She had hardly ever seen him taking the stairs, let alone running in at such a speed.

He stopped a few feet in front of her, confusion plainly on his face. "My...How is this possible? Caitlin, I believe you need to explain this miracle to me, dear." He said and gave her a long hug. "When I saw you last, you were most certainly dead."

She smiled and told him the same story her three co-workers had heard the night before. "So, that´s all there is. Ducky, what about Gibbs? How will he react when he sees me?" She finally asked and noted the look in his eyes.

Ducky seemed concerned. "I do not know what impact this will have on Jethro. As I said before, he has completely withdrawn from his surroundings, he doesn´t even react to Anthony or me visiting him. He has never cried after the events on the rooftop and he surely has not spoken about anything. It is possible that he is holding back those feelings and therefore refuses to interact with anyone around. It might be an attempt to keep himself from hurting even more. I believe that he cared deeply about you, Caitlin, possibly more than he was ready to admit." He explained and Kate had a hard time to keep her face straight. Ducky probably had no idea how true his guess was.

Kate smiled a bit. "I know he did. There´s still rule 12, but if all of this hadn´t happened, maybe..." She said and met smiling faces. "Sorry, that doesn´t belong here." She quickly added, but saw a grin spreading over Tony´s face immediately.

"Hey, Gibbs is a good guy. He deserves to be happy -and his mood was a lot better when you were around. Don´t think we never noticed." Dinozzo said and leaned against his desk. Everyone on the team had noticed the special connection between their boss and Kate for a long time.

"I believe we should head to Bethesda. I can´t say how he will react, if at all, but it´s worth a try. Commander Witten is the head of 7 West, so we will need to talk to him about this." Ducky said and they trooped out to the parking lot. McGee and Abby stayed behind, making sure that the reports were filed on time.

"Jethro has withdrawn completely, he doesn´t even touch coffee anymore. Maybe we should bring him some, because if this works, he will surely want a cup of Starbuck´s homeblend." Ducky said while Tony drove towards the hospital. "We need to talk to Cmdr. Witten, he´s the resident of 7 West. He will be able to help us find the right time and place to tell Jethro the whole story."

Half an hour later they left Witten´s office. The mood had dropped significantly. Witten did not want Kate to see Gibbs for the time being. "I don´t think it would improve his condition if he finds himself face to face with the person whose death has landed him here. If you are to tell him, you should do so gently. I would recommend that you take him out to some places that hold specific memories for him, like his house, the office, maybe even that rooftop everything started at. See how he reacts to those triggers and we will see how to deal with the rest afterwards." The commander said and left them again.

Kate felt close to crying again. "Why can´t I just go and tell him?" She asked and looked into Ducky´s eyes. He looked rather sad too, but there was also a warmth that made her feel better immediately.

"He is right there, Caitlin. Jethro would probably think you are just a hallucination and draw back even more. We have to find a way to get tohim first. He has withdrawn so extensively that we are not even sure if he notices anything around him at all. Anthony, please take Caitlin home for now. I shall talk to Jethro in the meantime. Come back afterwards and we will take him out for a while." Ducky said and walked to a plain wooden door half way up the hallway.


	6. Memories

Shattered

Disclaimer: I don´t own any characters or anything

Summary: Twilight left them shattered. When Ari is killed 6 months later, the team learns surprising news, but will those news come soon enough to keep one of them from breaking?

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6- Memories

Tony put his hands on her shoulders when he noticed the look in her eyes. "It´s best for him like this, Kate. Don´t cry." He told her and forced her back towards the parking lot. "I promise that I will come and take you to him when the time is right. Maybe you can think of some special places we could take him. Witten knows what he´s doing, so we have to trust him."

"I guess we have to." She replied and looked back to the hospital that slowly disappeared behind other buildings. Something deep down inside her wanted to jump out of the car and just run back, but her rational self knew that it wouldn´t be good. "I just don´t want him to hurt, Tony." Admitting this cost her a lot, but she also knew that it was impossible to hide it any longer. Nobody knew of those evenings she had spent at Gibbs´ house, all those talks they had shared. Nobody knew about their friendship -yet.

Tony simply smiled. "I know. Hey, we noticed what was going on between the two of you. I mean, we´re seasoned investigators, Kate. It was so obvious that he´s more than just your boss." He said and grinned when the look on her face changed to horror. "Don´t worry, except for us, nobody will ever know about it. You know I love you as a friend and I just want you to be happy. Gibbs was happy when he had you around and that was good for all of us, so no big deal."

Kate wasn´t sure if she should be happy or hit him. "Thanks, Tony." She simply said as she got out in front of her apartment. She watched him drive off before walking inside. Her furniture had been brought back and she started to sort out her belongings. It would take days, if not weeks to get everything back into place. It still seemed unreal to be back in Washington as if nothing had happened. Kate made a mental note never to go into protective custody again. It was not worth the pain it caused to those left behind.

Back at Bethesda, Ducky was waiting outside the main entrance. Gibbs was with him, dressed in a pair of jeans, a black shirt and a dark jacket. He seemed lost somehow and just stared into thin air, not even flinching when Tony parked the car right in front of him. "Hello, Anthony. I was just telling Jethro that we are going to take a little trip to his house today." Ducky said and opened the door to let Gibbs into the car.

The drive was rather quiet and Tony kept checking the rear mirror to see if there was any reaction from his boss, but there was none. His blue eyes seemed dull and unfocussed, like he was dreaming with open eyes all the time, not comprehending what was going on around him. They got to his house and walked inside. There was a lot of dust on the furniture, after all nobody had lived here for half a year now. Both men just stood and waited what Gibbs would do.

He stood in the hallway for a short moment, then walked towards the basement door and opened it. The smell of sawdust and paint flooded the room. Gibbs walked down the stairs, his friends following him. The boat was still far from being done. He ran his fingers over the wooden skeleton and for a short moment, his eyes seemed to sparkle a bit for the briefest moment. He returned to the ground floor after a few moments, carefully locking the door behind him again. He seemed to be oblivious of the presence of two other people in his house and walked to the fireplace. There was only one picture above it, a very small one that was hardly noticable between the books at the first look.

Tony took a step closer and his eyes widened in surprise. "Ducky, look at that picture." He said in a low voice and pointed at the frame Gibbs was now holding in his hands. "That´s Kate." He said and Gibbs spun around at the sound of her name. His blue eyes were sparkling. Yet, it was gone after a few moments again and he put the picture back down.

Ducky watched his friend closely. There were signs that he knew what was going on. Signs that didn´t make any sense considering the state he had been on for so many months. Sometimes it even seemed like he just didn´t want to talk or do something, like he had chosen this way for himself. "We should head back now." He suggested after a few more minutes of all three just standing around and turned towards the door.

The drive back to Bethesda was as silent as the first one had been, but none of them thought much about it. They checked Gibbs back in and took him to his room, waiting for him to put his jacket away. Taking care of his clothes was one of the things he still did himself and it was one of the things that had Ducky puzzled most of all. He had seen people suffering from PSD before, but none had been so accurate about something. "Jethro, there is something you need to know." The doctor started and caught a surprised look from Tony. "Ari has been shot, Jethro. He is dead." Both men looked at Gibbs, who was sitting in front of the window again, staring out. Both stood more to his side, but his face was visible for them.

A second later, something happened that none had expected. A tiny smile played on Gibbs´ lips and he nodded. It actually looked like he had understood. Tony was surprised and felt his mouth hanging open for a few moments. It was just a small gesture, but it felt like a big improvement. "Serves him right." Gibbs suddenly said, his voice strict and clear as ever. He turned his head to face both of them and they noticed at once that there was a fire burning behind those ice blue eyes again.


	7. A Story Told

Shattered

Disclaimer: I don´t own any characters or anything

Summary: Twilight left them shattered. When Ari is killed 6 months later, the team learns surprising news, but will those news come soon enough to keep one of them from breaking?

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7- A Story Told

Tony stared at Gibbs, unable to speak. He had expected almost any reaction, but certainly not this. Those blue eyes that had seemed dull and sad for many weeks suddenly sparkled again. It was a sight Tony had almost lost hope to see ever again. He bit his lip to keep his emotions at bay. Everyone knew him as a womanizer, always a megawatt smile on his face, but only few knew how much he valued his friends and colleagues.

Ducky felt his eyes widening and a wide grin spread over his face. "Jethro! How dare you make us worry so much about you!" He exclaimed and seemed very relieved. His eyes darkened a bit again when he noted the sorrow in his friend´s eyes. "You do miss Caitlin, don´t you, Jethro?" He asked and saw even more pain creep back into those ice blue eyes. For a moment he was scared that he could fall back into that passive behavior he had shown for the last months.

Gibbs sighed andput his head into his hands. He knew that he could not fool them anymore. The trip to his house, Kate´s picture and the sound of her namehad broken down the wall he had put up to protect him from his feelings."Of course I miss her." He admitted and felt a single tear rolling down his face. He fought to keep the remaining walls up around his heart, but it was getting harder every second. He didn´t notice how Tony slipped out of the door a moment later. "You know how I felt about Kate, Duck. You know I never dared to tell her. You have no idea how I felt when she died in my arms." Gibbs said, his voice soft. That was something nobody had ever heard from him before. "I thought being at 7 West would help to forget all of that, but everyone still tried to remind me of those things."

Ducky smiled a bit, but he also started to understand. "Jethro, you have friends who care about you deeply. Anthony and Timothy have been troubled since you were brought to Bethesda and Abby has been devastated. I know how you felt for Caitlin –and I know that you always will. Will you listen to me when I tell you a story?" He then asked and saw Gibbs looking up, frowning slightly.

"Duck, not another one of your stories..." He tried, but somehow the look in Mallard´s eyes made him wonder what it would be about. "All right, go ahead." He finally said and waited for the things to come. He slowly managed to get his emotions back under control and maybe listening to one of Ducky´s stories would give him enough time to figure out what to do next.

"Ari has been set up several times before they finally got him recently. Most set ups have been so good that even people from the agencies had no idea what was going on." Ducky started and paced the room a bit. He knew exactly what Tony was going to do, but he had to buy some time for him. "We were told about some of the things they tried to catch him now that it´s finally over. Commander Witten didn´t want us to address this topic in front of you yet, you surely played your role well there."

Gibbs smirked a bit. "He might have a degree in psychology, but he has no idea what makes people tick." He said and brushed his hand through his hair. "Where did Tony go? Is he having a date again? Believe me, it´s not easy to keep a straight face when he keeps bragging about women all the time. I think I know more about his private life than I like."

Ducky chuckled. "Yes, I do believe you there." He replied and walked to the door, trying to listen for steps in the hallway without Gibbs noticing too much. "Director Morrow called Tony on Sunday, telling him that Ari has been killed. He told him about people being brought back from protective custody now." He stopped as he heard steps approaching the door. "I shall go and get us some coffee."

Ducky walked to the door and left the room. Gibbs got up and put his head against the cool glass of the window. On one hand he felt much better now after talking about some of the things that had really haunted him for the last months, on the other hand he knew that he would not be able to hide here any longer. From outside the door he heard voices and someone mentioning his name. Curious, he approached the door, but then saw it moving. He stepped back and waited.

The bright lights from the hallway blinded him for a few seconds and he just saw a shadow in the doorframe. He blinked and noticed how familiar this shadow looked, but he knew that his mind was surely playing him a trick. "Gibbs?" A soft voice asked carefully and he felt his heart skip several beats.


	8. Disappointment

Shattered

Disclaimer: I don´t own any characters or anything

Summary: Twilight left them shattered. When Ari is killed 6 months later, the team learns surprising news, but will those news come soon enough to keep one of them from breaking?

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8- Disappointment

"Kate?" He asked, not quite sure what to make of this. This couldn´t be. It was impossible. For a brief moment he really questioned his sanity until he realized that she had entered the room and now stood in front of him. His heart fell immediately when he saw the small name tag on her shirt.

"Commander Witten would like to talk to you." The woman said and left again. Her black hair looked almost like Kate´s, but her face wasn´t even close to those soft features of his agent. All his hopes, all his relief were gone again and he put his head into his hands, not even trying to hold back his tears.

"Damn you." He muttered under his breath as he felt an icy knot in his stomach. Ducky´s words had given him so much hope and he had been so close to believe that Kate was still alive. Yet all those hopes were shattered again when he realized that it had indeed just been a nurse coming to take him to Witten again. He hated the man –he would always try to get him to talk, but Gibbs had refused to even look at him. They had dealt with Witten a while back when a young woman had been killed in 7 West. He had hated him back then already.

A few minutes later the door opened again and Mallard walked in, his face clearly puzzled. "I was told that you were supposed to see Commander Witten now, Jethro. Why don´t you come with me and we go see what he wants?" The older man offered and noted the pained look in Gibbs´ eyes. "What is wrong, Jethro? You didn´t seem so troubled when I left you." He put two cups of coffee onto the table and looked at his friend.

Gibbs wasn´t sure what to say, not even sure if he wanted to say anything. "I...I thought Kate was here." He finally said and sighed. It would have been a dream come true, but he started to realize that it was not going to happen. "It was just some nurse, but for a second I really thought it was Kate, Duck. I...I miss her." Admitting that he cared so deeply for her was unusual for Jethro Gibbs, but when he met his friend´s kind eyes, he couldn´t help talking about it.

Ducky smiled a bit. "Commander Witten is waiting for us, Jethro. I think you should talk to him about this. Maybe, if he thinks you are dealing with it, he may even let you go home." He said and got up again. The coffee sat untouched on the table, slowly becoming too cold to drink.

After a few seconds, Gibbs got up from his bed and straightened his shirt. "Okay, but just because you asked me to." He said and walked towards the office. The door was open and he just walked straight in, dropping onto an empty chair. "All right, what do you want, Commander?" He asked and met a smiling, yet surprised face.

Witten got up and closed the door, giving a small nod to Ducky, who was waiting for this signal at the other door. Once the door had closed, Mallard started to pack everything from the closet. He had talked to Witten before, making sure that they could take Gibbs home after this last session. He was smiling to himself at the thought of what was going to happen then. Of course, it had hurt him a bit to see that pain in Gibbs´ eyes again, but Tony had not returned yet as Kate´s apartment was a bit away from Bethesda.

When his phone rang, Mallard put the packed bag onto the bag and took it out. "Yes?" He answered and smiled slightly.

"Hey, Ducky. It´s Tony. I´m at Kate´s place now, so should we come back to Bethesda?" Dinozzo asked, sounding rather cheerful.

"I believe it would be better if you met us at his house. He is talking to Commander Witten at the moment and will be released right afterwards. Since he´s been more his old self again, he won´t need to stay at 7 West. I believe he will heal more quickly once he´s back at his house. And once he sees Caitlin, of course. We should arrive within the hour, maybe you want to fix some lunch for us." The doctor said and put the phone back into his pocket when he heard steps approaching.

Gibbs was a bit surprised by the fact that Witten would let him go home. He had hoped for it somehow, but not dared to really think it might happen. He wasn´t sure how he would cope once he was on his own again. Before all this had happened, he had prefered being along, but now he could hardly stand the thought of it. "Looks like you already know, Duck." He said when he saw his friend standing next to the packed bag.

"Well, of course, Jethro. It was me who recommended this to Commander Witten. I do know how much you like being at your house. It was clear when Anthony and I took you there this morning. Would you like to change into different clothes before we leave?" Mallard asked and picked up the bag.

Gibbs shook his head and smiled a bit. "Let´s get out of here." He said and walked to the door, taking his belonging from Ducky as he moved. He looked around once they left the hospital and headed straight for the silver sedan that was parked out front. As he got into the passenger seat, he looked at Ducky. "I don´t know if I´m ready for this, Duck."

The older man smiled as he started the car. "We´re going to take it slow, Jethro. Let´s get you home first and then think about the next step." He pulled onto the road and continued to smile at himself. He could hardly wait for Gibbs´ reaction once they arrived at the house.


	9. Miracles Do Happen

Shattered

Disclaimer: I don´t own any characters or anything

Summary: Twilight left them shattered. When Ari is killed 6 months later, the team learns surprising news, but will those news come soon enough to keep one of them from breaking?

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9- Miracles do happen

Ducky parked his car in front of the house and got out. He noticed Dinozzo´s car up in the driveway behind the black sedan that belonged to Gibbs. He waited for his friend to get his bag from the trunk and walked to the front door. Tony opened the door and smiled. "You really got him out then?" He asked and walked back into the front room. Mallard could sense the excitement in the younger man´s voice. The last months had been hard for everyone around the team as they were struggling hard to keep going, inspite of their boss and one of their agents gone.

Ducky smiled too and put his coat aside. "Yes, indeed." He looked back outside where Gibbs was still on the way to the front porch. "Where is Caitlin?" He asked and then noticed the light burning in the basement. "Oh, I see. I hope he doesn´t take her to be an illusion." The doctor said and sat down on the large armchair that stood in the livingroom. He helped himself to a magazine that lay on the coffee table and started to read. He sensed that his assistance would not be required for a while, if at all.

Tony grinned and dropped onto the couch, taking a sip from a can of soda. He watched how Gibbs came in and dropped his bag right in the hallway. "Hey, boss. Good to see you." He said and gave him his best smile. Somehow it felt good to see the old Gibbs coming out more and more. He had not dared to hope for this day to come so soon, especially not since all doctors at 7 West had told them that Gibbs would most likely stay there for a long time, if not forever.

With a feeling of relief Gibbs looked around, noticing the light in the basement. "You better not messed with my boat, Dinozzo." He growled and threw his jacket into a corner before heading down the stairs. From the top of the stairs he noticed a figure standing in the shadows behind the wooden skeleton that was supposed to become a boat. For a moment, he half suspected Abby to be there, but yet the shadow did certainly not have pigtails. So unless she had changed her appearance drastically, it was not Abby.

Kate felt her heart beating faster as she watched him walk down the stairs. She couldn´t see his eyes yet, but from the way he moved she knew that he was still hurting. She had seen him getting shot, stabbed or injured in many other ways, but yet she had never seen him like this. When he reached the basement, she walked out of the shadows and looked at him, seeing disbelief creeping onto his face.

For a split second, Gibbs was sure that he was dreaming, asleep from some medication at Bethesda. His mind told him that this was not possible and yet, he was ready to believe in miracles. Maybe they really did happen, eventhough he had never thought about it much. He closed the gap between them and stopped when they were only a few inches apart. He could smell her hair and that light perfume she had always worn at work before that fateful day on the rooftop.

Kate smiled at him and he noted tears rolling down her face. When he raised his hand to wipe those tears away, she simply took it and didn´t let go again. Without thinking about it for long, he pulled her into an embrace. Tears started to rise into his eyes as well now as the walls around his heart started to crumble. Those scars on his soul were deep, too deep for any doctor or shrink to heal, but the smell of her hair and the feeling of her arms around him made all the pain disappear in a matter of seconds.

He ran his hand through her hair and slowly let go of her again. "But you..." He started, but she put her finger over his lips to stop him from talking. Gibbs felt his knees softening, but he didn´t move. His mind was still racing and he silently prayed that this was not just some dream.

"Ari was set up. They placed me in WITSEC afterwards. I didn´t know what was going on here. I didn´t want to hurt you, Jethro." She told him and he noted the explicit use of his first name. She had never used it before and it seemed to be really special somehow.

He smiled back at her. "You didn´t hurt me, Kate. I hurt myself because I never managed to tell you how I felt for you. I was scared to lose you and when you were gone, I beat myself for not telling you when I had the chance." The look in her eyes told him that she was surprised by this, really surprised, but she wasn´t about to object. Gibbs traced her face with his finger and hoped that this moment would never pass.


End file.
